229

Math doesn't come easily to C; he has to work hard at it. He took a test the other day and just found out he got a B on it, while most of the class tanked. I'm glad he got a B, but what I'm really grateful for is the feeling of success he experienced. It was all him, and he knows it.

228

Yesterday M had an incident with Rocco the Rock Star. When she clipped the lead rope onto his halter in the pasture, he bit her hard enough to leave teeth marks. Being the nonconfrontational people that we are--especially when confronting 1,300 pounds of a horse that's irritable--we quickly left. Today we went back out to the barn, where the instructor spent some time showing both me and M ways to show Rocco that even though he's 100 times bigger than we are, we're in charge. This requires quite a bit of acting, as you can imagine. But after an hour (and with the help of the old "chain over his nose" trick), M and I both felt a lot more confident. I'm grateful for Diane the instructor's patience with us and I'm grateful for M's willingness to try again. The girl has guts!

225, 226, 227

225: I'm grateful M asked me to go for a walk. We walked to the lake, brainstorming ways she could make the book she's writing longer because she wants it to be as long as a Harry Potter book. Writing is pure enjoyment for her; she's an inspiration.

226: The kids went on an overnight and we went out with friends we haven't seen in a while. I'm grateful for a date night.

227: I'm grateful to my friend Deb's MIL, who has a cottage on Lake Michigan and let the ladies from the hood "retreat" there, literally, over the weekend. We didn't go wild. On the contrary, we slowed down--slept in, lingered over breakfast until it was time for lunch, walked through the woods, and listened to each other talk about successes and challenges. Today, we swept the floors, stripped and re-made the beds, polished up the bathrooms, and closed the door behind us, feeling more than a little spruced up ourselves. Thanks, Beth!

223, 224

223: I'm grateful for antibiotics and a good night of sleep for M. She woke up a new, if not quite cured, young lady.

224: There are so many things I could've been grateful for today--sunshine, good and interesting work, the tulip trees that this very afternoon at 1:45 burst into bloom (or so it seemed)--but for once I couldn't get there. The day wore on and I plodded through it and then D.H. arrived home and just made things worse for a while because he told me some news that's potentially bad so I fretted over that for a while.

It wasn't until after we took a stroll after dinner that he finally told me some news that's potentially good. "Why didn't you lead with that?" I asked him. "I guess I should've," he said. "Ya think?!" I said, only half kidding. But by then everything seemed more tolerable, and perhaps not coincidentally I immediately got a stellar idea for an essay.

I'm grateful that the day turned around. It wasn't anything I did or B did, but I have a sense it was something we did together.

222

M has had a sore throat for a few days, but we thought it was related to allergies. Today after riding, her throat hurt so badly that she didn't want even to talk. I asked if she thought it might be strep and she whimpered. (She hates the strep test.) I'm grateful the doctor was able to work us in at the tail end of the day--I didn't even call until 5:30 and they got us in at 6:00--and that we were able to get that first dose of antibiotics into her before bed.

218, 219, 220, 221

218: I'm grateful we're able to eat on the back porch again (on sunny days), particularly since I've taken over the dining room table for work projects.

219: I've been nourishing the dormant writer in me by attending the Festival of Faith and Writing, so the next three posts will be words I'm grateful to have heard at the conference. Today Mary Gordon said that fiction is not necessarily moral (if morality is what you're after, she said, go be a doctor so you can spend time saving lives) but it does have its place: it prevents us from becoming ruthless because it cultivates empathy.

220: Mary Karr--oh, I love Mary Karr!--said she considers "What is God's dream for me?" rather than his will. Mary Gordon, again: "To be a writer is to always be part of a failed enterprise." And yet, "I'm a person of hope," she says, "and I believe in the possibility of possibility." Also, someone quoted essayist Charles Lamb, who began what he thought would be a humorous essay and ended up someplace else entirely: "I know not how, on beginning with something half light-hearted, I landed on something so painful."

221: Elizabeth Strout said that while working on her novels, she repeatedly says to herself, "The person who needs my book will find it." She added, "This may or may not be true," which is one way that writing requires faith. More: "Writers must write from a place of emotional truthfulness. Writers often say they don't write about a particular topic because they are protecting someone else, when the person they are really trying to protect is themselves."

And this, which is too true. "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all," which is a nice idea, but, as Strout points out, "is death to a writer." Sorry, Mom. Writing wins.

Finally, I'm grateful for the help of my friends Deb and Mary (who kept and/or shuttled my children various places while I was at the conference) and Lynn (who let Maisy come to play). And I'm grateful that B. forgave me for the power cord incident, which is a long story but involves a slight oversight on my part that created a big headache for him and he certainly does not need one more headache, large or small, because he has enough of those things right now.

215, 216, 217

Speed gratitude. I've been thankful for. . .
Home! (215) I like time away but I love coming home.
Rocco (216) He's a mighty big horse, but he seems to be just what M. needs.
Hope (217)--the possibility that anything (situations, skills, relationships, people) can get better.

213, 214

213: Our kids are at such great ages for traveling. They cheerfully pack themselves up, they pack the dog up, they pack the van up, and they haul all their own stuff into and out of the hotel. They entertain themselves in the car--and sometimes even lift their heads from their iPods for long enough to add their sparkling wit to the conversation. They don't have to use the bathroom every 45 minutes. In fact, I'm likely to request a rest stop before they do these days. Sure, sometimes they forget a tooth brush or a pair of p.j.s (never a swimsuit, though!), but who among us doesn't? I'm grateful for kids who like to travel, and who make it easier on us by helping out.

214: My DH buys good shoes and then wears them not just to death but beyond the grave, getting them re-soled as needed, until the only thing holding them together is polish. But finally there was no sign of life left in his shoes. It was time for a new pair. I'm grateful he found exactly what he was looking for--and within half an hour!--in Chicago.

More on 212

It's actually a two-fer day here on Daily Bread: Today is my sister Margaret's birthday (she's the one in the glasses) and Bev (blue shirt) and Julee (stripped shirt) are flying out to celebrate with her. Mary (red), Andy, and I won't be there, but I'm grateful those three can be together. It makes me happy to think of them laughing. Happy Birthday, Margaret! "I love you Bronco Billy. You'll always be my cowboy!"

212

I just love NPR. Today jazz guitarist Marcus Miller was on "Talk of the Nation." I've never even heard of him before, but I'm always interested in hearing about the creative process, regardless of what kind of art a person creates. Someone asked him how he keeps his music fresh after all these years.

"Try to live your life as fully as you can," he said. "When you first start out as a musician, you learn the tools and you’re really consumed by those tools for a while. To continue as a musician, you have to live life and you have to try to express that life you live through your music. And so as long as you’re experiencing different things and feeling different emotions, there’s always new music to write."

Apparently, he thinks of it in terms of levels. "Level I is the scales and the notes and all the tools of music. Level II is when you’re en expert. You play all those scales fast and people are very impressed by your technique. Level III is when you play as if you’ve never studied a note but you can express yourself as simply as when you’re talking. Miles Davis is level three. A lot of trumpet players, when you hear them play the only thing you think is, 'Wow, he must practice a lot,' which is fine, but when you hear Miles, you say, 'Whoa, I had a girlfriend like that.'"

I'm grateful I tuned in just in time to hear that snippet because old Marcus nailed it.

(If you want to listen to it for yourself, here's the link. The part I'm quoting happens at 40 minutes into the interview.)

211

Today the kids had dentist appointments--no cavities!--and swam at the pool at my parents' place with my brother's grandkids. I frequently think about what terrific role models my parents have been at going through this stage of their life. Even though it must have been scary, they made the decision to sell the farm and leave their hometown and start over in a completely new environment with completely new people. I'm grateful for the example they continue to set, and their sure and steady support throughout my entire life.

207, 208, 209, 210

207: M. came home from the sleepover in GREAT shape. I thought she'd be fried, but she cheerfully helped with yard work and then went grocery shopping with B, where she bought me tulips with her own money. She left them on the kitchen counter for me along with a note that said: "Surprise! I hope you like them, Mom. They're for you. Happy Spring Break! XOXO, , Madeline." I do like them. And I like her. And I'm grateful for both.

208: I'm grateful for a day of rest--a stroll downtown to get the paper; a delicious meal, well prepared; time for reading and talking; time for Guitar Hero.

209: I had a funky stomach all day. Maybe that meal wasn't everything I thought. At 9:00, when the kids were heading to bed and B was just settling down to relax, he said sincerely, "I'll go out and get you some ginger ale, if you think it would help." Which was just about the sweetest thing he could have said. I took him up on his offer and the gingerale did help. I'm grateful for his thoughtfulness.

210: Filter keys gave me a headache today--and I don't even know what filter keys are! Somehow I turned them on (by holding down the shift key for eight seconds?--don't try it!) and everytime I tried to type, nothing happened. I thought I'd search the web and find out about filter keys but--doh!--I couldn't enter in the words "filter keys" because nothing happened when I typed. Even though my DH had much better things to do, he e-came to my rescue. I'm grateful for his willingness to help so I could get on with my work.

205, 206

205: I met my friend Hope for lunch today. My friendship with her is one of the very best things that has come out of my life as a children's writer. She has encouraged, prodded, empathized with, and counseled me, as needed, and kept me company throughout. This is no small thing. I'm grateful for Hope, and that she made time for me today (not to mention that she introduced me to a great discount shoe store where I found a new pair of walking shoes).

206: M went to a birthday party, which left the rest of the family wondering what we should do with our Friday night. We ended up at a Griffins hockey game and had a blast, even though they lost. I'm grateful for a change of pace and a change of scenery. Yes, we've watched a lot of hockey, but not with C. And that, as they say, is a whole different ballgame.

204

204: "In a millenium of mediocre parents, you and Dad stand heads above the rest," C. said tonight after dinner--and he was being totally sincere. I don't know if I'd go that far, but I am grateful for a son who appreciates that we try to be good parents. (This being B's actual birthday, I'm also conscious of being grateful for him in my life, but I can't think of anything exceptional he said, and when you're a writer a great quote trumps no quote any day, even a birthday.)

202, 203

202: The rain came down in sheets today, making me grateful for my umbrella and my warm, dry house. It's the little things in life.

203: We celebrated B's birthday a day early, simply because we were in the mood and it was the most convenient night of the week. Dinner turned out. The cake turned out. And part way through dinner, the sun came out. I'm grateful it all came together and B liked his presents--specially made company T-shirts and Guitar Hero, at which we are all laughably bad.